“will i be something?”

“will i be something?'“ she asked me.

“you already are something, aren’t you?” i answered.

she continued,

“i can see that i’m still learning how to be comfortable with myself, with my choices, with the way i choose to spend my moments and live my life.

i can see that a lot of the way i spend my moments are self-reflective, “self” based, and maybe i’m trying to decide how that feels for this version of me, and whether i’d like more for myself?

i think i do, i think i want to be part of something bigger, something that gives me value, that honors my purpose, gifts and talents.

sometimes i wonder if the practice is in being more accepting of my current place and choices or if it’s in owning that i want more for myself and i don’t know how that looks and that’s what frightens me… or maybe it’s in both. in accepting where i’m at and my longing for more.

i sometimes feel lost, like i’m looking for myself somewhere else when i know i can only find myself here, my purpose lives here, and i will always find my way.

and you know, maybe there will always be that desire for more, i just know that there’s something more for me waiting to bloom into fruition and i think this reflective moment is part of this blooming.

maybe every reflective moment is part of becoming more, every moment of honesty, every moment i am alive, and maybe it’s all enough, however i choose to exist in these moments, well it has to be, because i am enough, and you’re right, i am something.”